Whoop, whoop, whoop, Helicopter Parents

When did we (as a culture) decide to sterilize, over-dramatize and hover over every aspect of our children's environment?  It didn't happen overnight, it was a slow progress, starting in the 90's that eventually led us to the overprotecting and overinvesting moms and dads of today.

Fear of danger: We can kind of understand this although let's be rational. We're not talking about car seats, seat belts and bike helmets here; these are the rational side and we need these. We are speaking of parents who lobby to remove the jungle gyms from playgrounds and schools who have the kids "pretend to jump rope" instead of actually using real ropes because "some children are more uncoordinated than others".

Fear of failure: Again, not talking about helping your child with homework or coaching the little league. You know, the parents who insist that their elementary-school kids start working on college prep or produce a full blown campaign video for their 3rd graders run for class president. Every toy they own has to be educational. And what about the organized team program who insists that they tell the kids on the team who didn't win the game, that they didn't lose, they just came in second.

You really want your children to succeed? Learn when to leave them alone. Let them be creative, inventive and use their imaginations on their own. Let them try to problem solve for themselves. Take the knee-pads off your baby and let them play in the dirt sometimes. Too much hovering can produce anxious and unadventurous children. Keep them safe but dial down the irrational stuff....balance Daniel-san.

Macrobiotic cupcakes anyone?

Child Tethering

How do you feel about child tethering?


I'm usually not particularly opposed to this practice, especially in crowded public places, and I do understand the need to keep tabs on an active child, however, I was at a stock car race last weekend (not my cup of tea but went with friends) and I was sitting several rows behind a mother with a 2 year old that was using this "leash" harness in the same fashion you would reserve for a rabid dog. Yanking and telling the child to stay close. At one point she even lifted the child off the ground dangling in the harness. Another woman sitting close by and I exchanged looks.

I guess I have less problem with the item (tether) and more problem with the way some people use them. What do you think?

(And did I mention that this woman had no ear protection for her baby either) tsk tsk

Are real Dads getting angrier?

Now that dads are starting to get more hands-on with raising the kids, are they "feeling the burn" of all the weariness that Mom's have dealth with for years?  We're seeing more disgruntled dads emerging in culture, from Adam Mansbach’s children’s book, Go the F**k to Sleep,  to the big screen with the new movie, The Change-Up where Jason Bateman's character is a father of three and compares his kids to raising little heroin addicts.  Is art imitating life here? 

Not from what I can see.  I know several Mom's who would be thrilled if dad would actually help out with the kids.  Maybe the real dads I know are worried their lives would look like the dads on the screen if they did.  Sure they help out topically when asked (grumbling under their breaths), but I don't know too many dads that really get in there and get dirty with it. That's not to say those dads aren't out there and kudos to those that do, but lets not expect too many brownie points for doing what hard working Mom's have been doing for decades.  As for being angry about it dads, well, they're your kids too and you have to present a united front when raising children or they'll walk all over you. Now you know why Mom needs a glass of wine sometimes to take the edge off.