The Half Birthday Party Cra Cra Craze

Is this really where we are?  Is this really what we’ve come to?  Is this not the epitome of spoiled, over-indulged parenting?   I can’t wrap my mind around what we’re doing here…..is this really gonna be a “thing” from now on?   Yes.

Seems the latest cool thing to do is to celebrate half birthdays.  Now this trend has been around a while but its gaining momentum into the “widely accepted” arena.  Six months after your real birthday is your half birthday.  It’s another excuse to pamper and spoil your kids with the full blown party essentials and gifts so they have twice the days in the year when it’s all about them.  

Now we’re not just talking about those poor, deprived children whose birthdays are within weeks of Christmas (or any other big holiday) so that they get lost in the shuffle and feel their special day doesn’t get the pageantry it deserves.  We’re talking about everyone…everyone has a half birthday!

If you think hard enough you can come up with an excuse why they need this.  Even if they don’t have a December birthday.  Like, maybe, they have a summer birthday (terrible) and they don’t get to have cupcakes at school for their birthday like the other kids whose birthdays are during the school year. How horrible to have to have a summer birthday at the pool, in the sunshine….right?  Or maybe, they have a winter birthday and they like the pool idea, it’s just no fun being cold on your day.  Or maybe, little Johnny just didn’t get all the things he wanted on that last birthday.

 People, this is a made-up day!  You only have one birthday…. That’s why it’s called a “birth-day”. It is what it is.  Isn’t this just perpetuating the narcissistic attitude that kids seem to have in spades already?  They already have a “graduation” from every school grade from kindergarten through high school complete with all the parties and gifts. We already have potty training parties and first moon parties. 

They get trophies and ribbons for every athletic event they participate in, win, lose or draw. Now you can add to the “all about me” attitude of Easter, Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, beginning of school/end of school and Halloween with an extra birthday!  And don’t try to say that you will just switch to celebrate the half birthday only and not celebrate on the actual birthday….we know better than that; you’ll do both.  Because that’s why you’re doing it.  Ridiculous.  What’s next?  Quarterly birthdays?  A “coming out” party every time they lose a tooth??

Parents please… using the toilet or getting your period is not an achievement. It’s part of growing up, a rite of passage that everyone has to go through just like moving on to the next grade in school. Not everything in life is a trophy winning, cake eating, party hat wearing event.  If you treat everything like it is, your child’s actual note-worthy achievements pale by comparison and you raise kids that don’t understand why the world doesn’t celebrate everything they do when they grow up.

We don’t need this new generation to feel more entitled that they already do! It’s so over the top already.

I call BS!  Let’s get back to reality and teach kids to appreciate what they have and truly achieve. Not everybody can be the best….or the winner…or the birthday kid…. except when they are.

Public Breastfeeding....the debate goes on...

Ok, so here's what we know:  Everyone has an opinion on public breast feeding and there are many different ones.  Whether you are for it, against it, cover up, don't cover up, it would be nice to know the breast feeding law in your state.

There's a place you can go to find out what the current laws are and discuss and ask questions.  Visit:  http://breastfeedinglaw.com/

Incidentally, I read about a place down in San Antonio called Baby Café. They provide a non-clinical place and encourage Moms to come in feed their babies and talk about pregnancy and health issues. Way to go Texas! Read about it here:  http://www.woai.com/articles/woai-local-news-sponsored-by-five-119078/baby-cafe-will-promote-breast-feeding-12084695

Genetic Odds, Waiting and Tears

A pregnant mother and career cartoonist, illustrator and painter receives news that her and her husband both carry the genes for a chronic fatal disease. Lauren Weinstein and husband are sent to a genetic counselor.  It’s a scary time. This is the story of their wait told through her cartoons.

Follow along as this cartoonist and mother worries and hopes through the waiting to find out the results of their genetic testing.

http://nautil.us/blog/carriers-a-webcomic-on-health-luck-and-life

Baby Monitor Hacking - Keeping control of your nursery technology

We keep hearing more cases about baby monitors being hacked by predators and it’s certainly a very scary and creepy thing.  The most recent case in the news was in Cincinnati, Ohio where parents heard a male voice coming over the monitor screaming at their child trying to wake her up.  Last fall in Huston, Texas a couple heard a male voice screaming at their daughter by name over the monitor.  The child’s name was spelled out over the crib on the wall.  Obscenities were used in both cases. The monitor, which is supposed to follow movement in the room, was panning the room being controlled by the hacker. Parents say if the intruder hadn’t spoken at all they would have never known he was watching and it could have been going on for a while. 

                                  

Parents in both cases immediately unplugged the monitor, which is certainly your first inclination however, powering off  the camera wipes it’s log of IP addresses and therefore any evidence that police had to go on to find out who these people are.  As you can imagine, both families felt very violated and horrified.

Police are not certain whether this could be the same person or a copycat but the monitors in both cases were the brand Foscam (one of which is shown above).  The company had released a firmware update for the camera fixing the problem however people who bought the item through a reseller may not get/be aware of the updates.

Experts say any digital video device that is monitored wirelessly, whether by cell phone, hand-held receiver, TV, tablet or PC, is vulnerable to hackers.   Some newer models of monitors have technology that jumps from frequency to frequency, making them more secure, while older ones do not.  Most newer models also have password capability which is definitely a must.  (Incidentally, anyone with the old analog type of monitors need not worry)

To keep your family as safe as possible, follow these rules:

1.       Enable and use the password capability on the monitor using strong passwords

2.       Use a different password for the monitor than you use for the Wi-Fi

3.       Change the manufacture default settings on both monitor and Wi-Fi

4.       Check with the manufacturer website for current updates frequently

5.     Be aware and pay attention to the monitors movements

Technology is a wonderful thing in this day and age but never let your guard down to keep your family safe.  These two families have decided to go “unplugged”.

Playing Concierge

“These kids today”....right?  If you haven’t said it, you’ve heard someone else say it. 

I have a friend whose children order her around like she’s the help…. and she does it!  I’m not talking about cooking them dinner.  They tell her to “go get my shoes”, “take me to get ice cream”, “Buy me this or that”.

Children now more than ever, have an overwhelming sense of entitlement for anything and everything they see/want.  It starts very young when they see what other kids have and what is thrust in their faces on TV. It then leads to a feeling that they are left out and uncool if they don’t have everything everyone else has.

Who among us hasn’t experienced the screaming child at the checkout?  Mom usually gives in out of embarrassment to quiet the child down.  Unfortunately, if you give in to every want you create a behavioral monster.

We want to give our kids everything we imagined (or not) we didn’t have but is that the right thing?  Many parents seem to want to be their child’s friend more than a parent who is supposed to guide them. I hear parents all the time call their children “Buddy” or “Pal” as a form of endearment but there is an underlying truth there.  Most times the parent just wants to feel good about themselves and their parenting. They over indulge the child and think they’re making their kids like them.

Children also get a false sense of entitlement from being overly praised for everything, especially things they should be doing anyway. Children start to believe that they should get anything they want just for being them because they are so fabulous.

Sports teams foster that thinking every time they pass out ribbons or trophies to every child in the game/race. Parents are told not to say their child’s team lost; they should say they came in second.  PLEASE!  What happened to trying out for a team?  If you didn’t make it, you worked harder and practiced so you could try out again next season.

 

I have a girlfriend whose son, as a teen, would not take a first job at a fast food place unless they hired him as a manager. What? Really?

Parents are supposed to act like life coaches, not fairy godparents with credit cards. Children need to learn that things are earned, success is achieved and there’s value in trying hard to be good at something. It’s critical to challenge this entitlement in your kids when they’re little so they don’t grow up walking out into the real world where they will have to earn what they have, just like everyone else.

Talk to your kids, tell them the rules and stick with them. Giving and doing for your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent at all. Just think through the way you give things to your children. Start when they’re little. Give them options for ways they can earn the money they need to buy things they want. Help them be successful. That way, they can develop a sense of ownership and earned entitlement not false entitlement.

How do you approach this topic in your household?

Chores. Do they or don't they help out around the house?

Some of you may have seen this chart floating around on the internet recently sparking some talk on the mommy blogs and parenting websites about the topic of having kids do chores.  Should we or shouldn’t we, why and what is appropriate/beneficial to the child or household.

Lots of comments both ways but I find the ones in the “against” column fascinating…. In a train wreck sort-of way.   

A few days ago a Babble blogger wrote an article against having children do chores because (and I’m paraphrasing here) it’s just easier to clean the house myself because the kids don’t do a good job.

Wow, did you hear that?  Really? She didn’t even have to duck, right over her head! TOTALLY not the point of having children do chores….and there were lots of comments, believe me. (If you want to read it for yourself: http://tinyurl.com/ktr2ofn  )

My point is, I think that it is actually harmful to the learning process if you don’t have the kids do some chores. While I don’t agree with this particular chart (outdated and it has the child drying dishes, watering the plants and making beds before they can replace a toilet paper roll…what?),  there is nothing wrong with giving your kids things they need to do around the house which teaches them that the family is a team effort and  that everybody contributes plus they begin to learn responsibility, accomplishment, self-pride and that Mom is not their maid.  Is it really horrible to teach your kids to pick up their toys, appreciate them and learn to take care of them?  Is helping to cook and clean in the kitchen ridiculous?  They’re gonna need it as an adult. Will it hurt them to gather their clothes for the laundry or help Dad put tools away in the garage? 

If you start early, you may be able to avoid the kind of narcissistic children who grow up to be the lazy teens and young adults with that never ending sense of entitlement. 

So, should you make the kids do everything and become your personal slaves, of course not!  Age appropriate duties to contribute to your family? …Yes.  Each child is different... but you know what your kids are capable of and what’s important in your family. When they’re little, will they make a bigger mess trying to help? Certainly, but it’s all a learning experience, they’ll get it…..Will they complain about chores as they get older? Absolutely!... And that too is a right of passage.

Tell us what you think!