Truth of Consequences

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve mentally counted along with the mother standing in the grocery line telling her 4 yr old to stop doing whatever he’s doing….1….2….2 ½…. Whose idea was the counting thing anyway? Does it ever work? I’ve never seen it work. I’ve seen kids say, ”3-4-5!” I’ve seen kids laugh and run…I’ve even seen kids stand there staring and waiting to see what’s gonna happen. You know why? Because whatever the parent is counting to is not readily apparent to the child because the parent hasn’t been consistent. The child has no concept of consequences. The counting thing has become a countdown of I’m-getting-ready-to-say-no.

Who decided we shouldn’t punish our kids or get angry when they misbehave? (I’m not talking about spanking or abusiveness) Age appropriateness comes into factor, for sure. As they get a bit older and can understand when told not to do something, aren’t we supposed to parent them in, well, life. After all, there are consequences to everything we do in life until we die. You’re just preparing them when you set boundaries and rules they have to abide by.

Children who learn that rules need to be heeded early on are better behaved in civilized society. We had rules growing up, everyone does. You know, like don’t run with scissors, no drinks in the formal living room, don’t let food fall from your mouth onto the floor purposely, no throwing toys at people, no running around restaurants like it’s romper room, no screaming because you’re not getting your way, no drawing on the walls, I can go on and on. The point is, yes, most times I followed the rules when I was little because I didn’t wanna make Mom and Dad mad. But I didn’t like the consequences of breaking the rules. Believe me the rules were very concise and presented a “clear and present danger” if we didn’t follow them. I already knew what would happen if I chose the opposite because my parents were consistent. And trust me, there was no counting.

I’m also not talking about making your kids scared of you. Make the consequences…. very undesirable. Take the birthday party next weekend away or remove something from their day that they really like. If you’re going to give in once the rules are set, you’ve already lost the battle. Let’s face it, it’s hard to raise children. With most kids, you’ll only have to punish them a few times before they realize you’re serious the next time you tell them not to do something. Then you can leave the counting for your toddler learning his numbers.

Baby’s Got Studs

Is it OK to pierce an infants ears or should we wait until the child can say for themselves. Interestingly enough, this question raised eyebrows and quite a few nasty comments on one of the New York Times blogs the other day. Although this is sometimes a moral thing and sometimes a cultural thing, many people have different opinions on the ideas of poking a (semi)permanent hole in a baby’s ear.

Many were rather snipe-y and pissy and some downright rude. There were even words used like “Mutilation” and phrases like forced “cosmetic alteration”. People actually compared it to circumcising a boy.

Wow, all this judgment over a tiny hole. We’re not talking about tattoos or enhancement surgeries. If you’d like to read the article, find it here,

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/15/babys-first-bling/

I know people who pierced their daughter’s ears at 3 mos. and gals whose parents made them wait until they were teenagers (myself included). I really don’t think either way, it shapes the girl’s life. The bottom line for me is that it’s each parent’s and each family’s decision. It’s up to them as to how they raise their girls and what earring decisions they make. It may not be your ideal but we’re in America, remember...many cultures and all that.

I know you have an opinion….what do you think? To pierce or not to pierce, that is the question…

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Funny or not!

That’s so true that they made a TV show out of it back in the 60’s. Art Linkletter did it first but Cosby did it later (and better IMHO) And while you never dream that the kids are even listening or paying attention sometimes, you find out VERY FAST that they, in fact, are. Seems they can multi-task even when you think they’re singing and playing with their building blocks in the next room.

Some hilarious (and not so hilarious) examples: My nephew accompanies Grandpa into the rest room while the rest of the family and lot of other people mill around in the gift shop while on vacation. Upon exiting the restroom, he announces, “Grandpa farted really loud!”

Upon returning from a fishing trip, a friend of mine had a cooler of fish they had caught and was showing off the fish to the guys in the garage. Repeating something he’d just heard out in the garage, the 3 yr old comes running into the kitchen and yells, “Come on Grandma! Come see the big f*ckin’ fish!”

If you’re not careful, they’re at school telling teachers all sorts of things they heard (or witnessed) at home. Embarrassing things like your weight or something you said under your breath about your MIL; or worse, they’re telling the MIL.

So I think it’s a good idea to fib a little, right? When jr. asks how old you are, tell him 27 even if you’re 35. If your 4 yr old asks what size pants you have when you’re out shopping or why you’re wearing spanx, for God’s sake, don’t use the word fat or overweight, just say something like “Mommy is small size” or “Because Mommy is slim and trim”.

If you wanna see a few clips from Linkletter’s show: http://tinyurl.com/7t2lwsr

In the mean time, tell us a funny one about your kids! Come on, I know you have one! Share, please!