I have a friend whose children order her around like she’s
the help…. and she does it! I’m not
talking about cooking them dinner. They
tell her to “go get my shoes”, “take me to get ice cream”, “Buy me this or that”.
Children now more than ever, have an overwhelming sense of
entitlement for anything and everything they see/want. It starts very young when they see what other
kids have and what is thrust in their faces on TV. It then leads to a feeling
that they are left out and uncool if they don’t have everything everyone else
has.
Who among us hasn’t experienced the screaming child at the checkout? Mom usually gives in out of embarrassment to
quiet the child down. Unfortunately, if
you give in to every want you create a behavioral monster.
We want to give our kids everything we imagined (or not) we didn’t
have but is that the right thing? Many
parents seem to want to be their child’s friend more than a parent who is supposed
to guide them. I hear parents all the time call their children “Buddy” or “Pal”
as a form of endearment but there is an underlying truth there. Most times the parent just wants to feel good
about themselves and their parenting. They over indulge the child and think
they’re making their kids like them.
Children also get a false sense of entitlement from being
overly praised for everything, especially things they should be doing anyway.
Children start to believe that they should get anything they want just for being
them because they are so fabulous.
Sports teams foster that thinking every time they pass out
ribbons or trophies to every child in the game/race. Parents are told not to
say their child’s team lost; they should say they came in second. PLEASE!
What happened to trying out for a team?
If you didn’t make it, you worked harder and practiced so you could try
out again next season.
Parents are supposed to act like life coaches, not fairy
godparents with credit cards. Children need to learn that things are earned,
success is achieved and there’s value in trying hard to be good at something.
It’s critical to challenge this entitlement in your kids when they’re little so
they don’t grow up walking out into the real world where they will have to earn
what they have, just like everyone else.
Talk to your kids, tell them the rules and stick with them.
Giving and doing for your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent at all. Just think
through the way you give things to your children. Start when they’re little.
Give them options for ways they can earn the money they need to buy things they
want. Help them be successful. That way, they can develop a sense of ownership
and earned entitlement not false entitlement.
How do you approach this topic in your household?
