Smoking With Children - What Would You Do?

Friday nights episode of “What would You Do?’ was interesting as the topic of one segment was; If you saw parents out carrying their infant baby in one hand and a cigarette in the other, would you say something to them?


The show was filmed on a boardwalk in New Jersey. Some people said they felt it was none of their business and one man even lit up with the parents. Fortunately, quite a few decided it was in the interest of the child to at least say something to the parents about second hand smoke. Many told the parents about a family member or friend that suffers from lung cancer or chronic bronchial problems. One lady said her husband suffered lung cancer and then later told the show’s host that it was a lie she told just for impact. Many wonderful people showed concern for the child and tried to educate the young couple and yet it is hard sometimes to say something, even if you think it.

We are so much more educated these days about the adverse affects of smoking, both directly inhaled and second-hand that it’s hard to see someone ignore the facts. Adults can choose for themselves but it’s horrifyingly difficult to see a parent with no concern for their tiny baby and his/her delicate developing lungs.

To see a blurb about this show, go here:

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/02/parents-smoke-near-baby-would-you-say-something/

How much do you think you could speak up and say to the parents?

The shortest blog entry you'll ever see

Recently, Nicole Ritchie helped out Jessica Simpson by giving her some parenting advice.  I'm speechless....Maybe Jessica can reciprocate by telling Nicole all about Chicken of the Sea.

The Shot heard 'round the Parenting World

Early in February, A father at the end of his rope with his teenage daughter, takes things into his own hands and makes a short video in response to his daughters FB post (to all her friends, family and acquaintances) lamenting how hard her life was and how unfair her parents are to make her do chores without paying her, saying, “I’m not your slave!”


You can see the original video posted on you tube here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

As you can imagine, this video has totally gone viral and there are cheers and jeers alike when the comments are coming down; most on the side of the dad. (just for the record, I commend him).

I realize this has some to do with teen angst and rebellion but it makes me think about parenting and the way problems should be nipped long before it gets to this point, you now, when the kids are much younger. Children need guidance and boundaries from the time they are old enough to understand them. Rules are a moral imperative and it’s the parents job to not only set them but explain why they exist. They should always, of course, be age appropriate, but there’s nothing wrong with teaching you kids that chores are a part of life and are there so everyone contributes to the family and home.

Trust me, you’re not taking away their play time or innocence by having rules and chores. You’re guiding your child to co-exist in the real world, learn responsibility and have empathy for the people/family around them. Children who don’t learn this are self centered, disrespectful and spoiled. It’s very difficult to introduce rules and chores later, down the line when they’re older if they’ve never had to do these things before….

Think it over, in the mean time, we’ll discuss kids earning things they want instead of mom and dad buying them everything on another post for another day.

And to the frustrated dad in the video; everyone who has ever shared oxygen with a teenager feels your pain. A+ for doing what you have to do to get their attention.

The "No" factor

We’ve all seen the Jimmy Fallon commercial for Capital One, probably multiple times, with the baby that says “No”. He’s cute (and the baby is too :) ) but any parent whose youngster has learned the word “No”, knows how annoying it can be to hear it over and over relentlessly.



So what do you do to get them past this stage? First, know that this is normal. As your child becomes more independent and has their own ideas, they can physically resist what they don’t want and they learn the word “No”. They may also ignore you, run away from you and deliberately do what you tell them not to. They are just trying to express themselves. So what can you do?

Try changing the situation: if your child is hungry or tired, deal with that first and make sure bed times and meals are consistent.

If this is a new situation: Give them time to adjust to one change before introducing another.

Encourage cooperation: Be specific as to what you want and tell them what to do instead of what not to do. Teach them the words to express their feelings and don’t be confusing.

In the end, keep it in perspective. Don’t get upset, your stress won’t help. Take a break and reduce your own anxiety. They call it the terrible twos and most children gradually become more cooperative on their own between 3 and 4 years.

It’s a normal part of growing up, all you have to do is make it through those “no” years. And remember, learning to say “no” is important and when they’re older, you’ll want them to be able to say “no” in the right situations.