Crowd birthing – All aboard, next stop, BIRTH!

The idea that some women want to bring 5, 8, 10 people into the birthing room, along with a live-feed video camera(s), is absurd to me, however, this has been gaining enough popularity that the term was coined, Crowd Birthing.

It’s been suggested that this new popularity began with Kourtney Kardashian’s birth video where there were 8+ people coming and going out of the room (not including the hospital staff).  Nevertheless, this seems to be an (un)natural progression of the teens and twenty-something’s idea of sharing EVERYTHING on social media.  Nothing is sacred anymore.  We’ve seen the Womb-tubers sharing the pee-on-the-stick moment and the first sonogram viewing parties.  Now we’re up to, “Let’s share birth with 800 of my closest FaceBook friends!”  What’s next?  Anyone up for a close-up circumcision video?

Aside from the obvious (to me) oversharing and TMI of doing this, there are other factors to consider. Too many people in the small confines of a birthing room can hinder the nursing staff and doctors from doing their jobs, most especially if there is a medical emergency.  Many hospitals have a limit to the number of people they allow in the room.  There’s a reason for that, not the least of which is that they don’t need the circus atmosphere of multiple unnecessary people talking and milling about.

You know, It’s not like on TV, this is not a glamorous process. It’s messy and exhausting and wonderful but you may not want to invite anyone you wouldn’t want to puke or poop in front of. I mean do we really need a live feed of your placenta?  SMILE, your vagina’s on candid camera!

The Half Birthday Party Cra Cra Craze

Is this really where we are?  Is this really what we’ve come to?  Is this not the epitome of spoiled, over-indulged parenting?   I can’t wrap my mind around what we’re doing here…..is this really gonna be a “thing” from now on?   Yes.

Seems the latest cool thing to do is to celebrate half birthdays.  Now this trend has been around a while but its gaining momentum into the “widely accepted” arena.  Six months after your real birthday is your half birthday.  It’s another excuse to pamper and spoil your kids with the full blown party essentials and gifts so they have twice the days in the year when it’s all about them.  

Now we’re not just talking about those poor, deprived children whose birthdays are within weeks of Christmas (or any other big holiday) so that they get lost in the shuffle and feel their special day doesn’t get the pageantry it deserves.  We’re talking about everyone…everyone has a half birthday!

If you think hard enough you can come up with an excuse why they need this.  Even if they don’t have a December birthday.  Like, maybe, they have a summer birthday (terrible) and they don’t get to have cupcakes at school for their birthday like the other kids whose birthdays are during the school year. How horrible to have to have a summer birthday at the pool, in the sunshine….right?  Or maybe, they have a winter birthday and they like the pool idea, it’s just no fun being cold on your day.  Or maybe, little Johnny just didn’t get all the things he wanted on that last birthday.

 People, this is a made-up day!  You only have one birthday…. That’s why it’s called a “birth-day”. It is what it is.  Isn’t this just perpetuating the narcissistic attitude that kids seem to have in spades already?  They already have a “graduation” from every school grade from kindergarten through high school complete with all the parties and gifts. We already have potty training parties and first moon parties. 

They get trophies and ribbons for every athletic event they participate in, win, lose or draw. Now you can add to the “all about me” attitude of Easter, Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, beginning of school/end of school and Halloween with an extra birthday!  And don’t try to say that you will just switch to celebrate the half birthday only and not celebrate on the actual birthday….we know better than that; you’ll do both.  Because that’s why you’re doing it.  Ridiculous.  What’s next?  Quarterly birthdays?  A “coming out” party every time they lose a tooth??

Parents please… using the toilet or getting your period is not an achievement. It’s part of growing up, a rite of passage that everyone has to go through just like moving on to the next grade in school. Not everything in life is a trophy winning, cake eating, party hat wearing event.  If you treat everything like it is, your child’s actual note-worthy achievements pale by comparison and you raise kids that don’t understand why the world doesn’t celebrate everything they do when they grow up.

We don’t need this new generation to feel more entitled that they already do! It’s so over the top already.

I call BS!  Let’s get back to reality and teach kids to appreciate what they have and truly achieve. Not everybody can be the best….or the winner…or the birthday kid…. except when they are.

Genetic Odds, Waiting and Tears

A pregnant mother and career cartoonist, illustrator and painter receives news that her and her husband both carry the genes for a chronic fatal disease. Lauren Weinstein and husband are sent to a genetic counselor.  It’s a scary time. This is the story of their wait told through her cartoons.

Follow along as this cartoonist and mother worries and hopes through the waiting to find out the results of their genetic testing.

http://nautil.us/blog/carriers-a-webcomic-on-health-luck-and-life

Chores. Do they or don't they help out around the house?

Some of you may have seen this chart floating around on the internet recently sparking some talk on the mommy blogs and parenting websites about the topic of having kids do chores.  Should we or shouldn’t we, why and what is appropriate/beneficial to the child or household.

Lots of comments both ways but I find the ones in the “against” column fascinating…. In a train wreck sort-of way.   

A few days ago a Babble blogger wrote an article against having children do chores because (and I’m paraphrasing here) it’s just easier to clean the house myself because the kids don’t do a good job.

Wow, did you hear that?  Really? She didn’t even have to duck, right over her head! TOTALLY not the point of having children do chores….and there were lots of comments, believe me. (If you want to read it for yourself: http://tinyurl.com/ktr2ofn  )

My point is, I think that it is actually harmful to the learning process if you don’t have the kids do some chores. While I don’t agree with this particular chart (outdated and it has the child drying dishes, watering the plants and making beds before they can replace a toilet paper roll…what?),  there is nothing wrong with giving your kids things they need to do around the house which teaches them that the family is a team effort and  that everybody contributes plus they begin to learn responsibility, accomplishment, self-pride and that Mom is not their maid.  Is it really horrible to teach your kids to pick up their toys, appreciate them and learn to take care of them?  Is helping to cook and clean in the kitchen ridiculous?  They’re gonna need it as an adult. Will it hurt them to gather their clothes for the laundry or help Dad put tools away in the garage? 

If you start early, you may be able to avoid the kind of narcissistic children who grow up to be the lazy teens and young adults with that never ending sense of entitlement. 

So, should you make the kids do everything and become your personal slaves, of course not!  Age appropriate duties to contribute to your family? …Yes.  Each child is different... but you know what your kids are capable of and what’s important in your family. When they’re little, will they make a bigger mess trying to help? Certainly, but it’s all a learning experience, they’ll get it…..Will they complain about chores as they get older? Absolutely!... And that too is a right of passage.

Tell us what you think!

DJ Babes-a-Lot in the House

Have you heard about the new cool thing in Brooklyn for the 3 year old set? It’s a music mixing school allowing kids 1-3 yrs to try their hand at mixing electronic music, basically being their own DJ.

Sounds crazy right?  But it’s getting a lot of buzz. The class turns the kids loose on actual beat-mixing equipment. During the classes they learn to mix separate tracks to make their own music. The idea behind this is that very young children benefit from interaction with other kids and parents by developing their fine motor skills while being creative and appreciating music.  Some kids fine it very stimulating while others don’t take to it as well.

Baby DJ School, located in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, is the brainchild of seasoned DJ Natalie Weiss who is the founder and instructor. Her course is 8 sessions, each 45 minutes, for $200.  She hopes to take her classes nationwide.

There are the neigh sayers though. Some Brooklyn residents have said they think this is just another thing to do to try to seem hip saying, ” It’s cool because you can afford to pay $200 for it”.

The kids just like that they can touch the pads, sliders and knobs without hearing “No No”.    

For more information on these classes visit: http://redtri.com/new-york/baby-dj-school

 

 

If the price tag is a bit steep for you or you’re nowhere near Brooklyn, here’s a tip: There’s an app for the iphone/ipad called “Baby DJ” to get you started.

What do you think about this idea?  Ridiculous or ingenious?  Beneficial or attempt at status building?

Womb tubers – Videotaping the stick

Well, the next generation (literally) in social sharing has bubbled to the top. Posting a video of the stick turning blue/pink or  +/-  with pregnancy results online the moment it happens.  I knew this was next way back in January when we were discussing ultrasound parties, because this is a nation of over-sharers.

A quick search on YouTube of “pregnancy test results” brings up over 42,000 results. Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait………

Again, I say, this fascination with videotaping and sharing every private moment of your lives is narcissistic and sad.  In a world where Instagram and YouTube is used by millions of people, I can see it happening that a gal gets so excited when she sees she’s pregnant that, out of habit, she hits the share button to upload the video just before she realizes that she hasn’t even told the baby daddy yet. Ooops. Oh well, he can read it on his Twitter feed…??

Now I understand getting on FaceBook and posting, ”Hey, guess what, we’re pregnant!” and things of the such, but the world doesn’t need to be in the bathroom with you by way of video feed.  Is there nothing private anymore?

Apparently not, because there will be some kids in a few years that will hate their parents when they realize mommy also videotaped them potty training and posted that for the whole world to see too….for ever…and ever…. on the internet.  Thank goodness there was no YouTube when I was a kid!

At the Pool (or WTH?)

Now, I’m not the most prude person out there, but this weekend, as we’re lying out in the sun, at a public pool, I saw something I couldn’t believe. There were families enjoying the weekend, hanging by the pool, mom and dads, lots of kids and people in general.  What disturbed me was the child who looked to be 5 or 6 yrs old (girl) whose mom removed her bikini top and who spent the entire day walking around with no top on. I can see doing this with a toddler, say 2 yrs,  but certainly not a child as old as 5 or 6.

It’s not just about weirdos,  though they are out there. I feel there’s a need to teach your daughters that this is not acceptable once they are old enough to understand the concept.

This mom made sure there were towels for the child, she diligently put sunscreen on her and we even had our sunglasses…but somehow, no top was fine!?!  Do some people need help understanding appropriate? 

To add another dimension:  Does it matter if they were clearly German and may have different cultural ideas?

I clearly don’t agree with this but how do you feel about it?  Up to what age do you feel topless is OK with your daughters?

Tough Topics and keeping it Real

Sesame Street has never shied away from tough topics and now they are tackling the topic of a parent being incarcerated.  This is coming with some raised eyebrows and of course, some differences of opinion on whether this is appropriate for the age demographic of Sesame Street viewers.

On the one side, you’ll have the people that don’t or somehow can’t, talk to their kids about the parent, aunt/uncle/family member that is in jail and deal with that child’s feelings and worries. They appreciate and rely on show’s like this to help their children deal with and realize that this happens in some families and that they are not alone. They consider this a fact of life and approve of Sesame Street bringing this topic into the light and keeping it “real”.

The opposing consensus is that people need to deal with their family issues in their own homes. Talk to their children if this happens in their family and deal with it themselves rather than expecting a children’s show to teach their kids for them. This is not a fact of life in most families. Those against this type of programming would rather not have their kids watching and asking questions about topics they’d like to shelter their children from until they are older.

If you'd like to watch the video, it's here.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk3SxyPW6lA 

Sesame Street has dealt with many other topics like death, bullying, academic success and divorce. What do you think?  Is the topic of incarceration something you want your children watching and asking questions about at very young ages?

Top Ten Ways Daddy can Support Expecting Mommy

A little Top Ten List for the Expecting Daddy today-

#10.  Say, “I can’t wait” or “I’m so excited” – Even if you don’t feel it, say it anyway, pump up the enthusiasm, trust me on this.

#9.    Tell her she looks beautiful – There will be days she doesn’t feel it but it’s nice to hear.

#8.   Offer to rub her swollen feet – or her back, or whatever.  You have no idea how it feels to not be able to see your feet, much less reach them.

#7.    Ask what you can do for her – Pay attention to her needs, wants, and cravings.  Realize there’s little or no way she can control what is happening to her body and mind right now.

#6.    Step up and take some stuff off her hands – She got a lot to do to get ready and WAY less energy to do it with. Take on more of the household duties so she doesn’t have to choose between killing herself and living in squalor.

#5.   Agree with how she wants to decorate the baby’s room – Does the particular shade of blue matter to you anyway? And if she changes her mind and decides that Periwinkle would be better than Sky Blue, your response should be, “Of course sweetie, that’s no problem” and repaint with a smile.

#4.  Go to as many prenatal care appointments and birthing classes as you can – The response, “But honey, that’s my day to meet the boys at Hooters for lunch” is not the correct answer to hearing that her doctor’s appointment is scheduled for Wednesday noon.

#3.   Never say, “Ooooh”, “gross”, or wrinkle your nose at something related to the pregnancy - The doctors exam may seem weird and birthing movies she asks you to watch can be… uncomfortable… if you have to look away, do that, but please don’t say derogatory things, she may take it personally.

#2.   Plug in and generally participate – You got her pregnant, now you have to engage. Your job is not over, ever.

And the #1 way daddy can support expecting Mommy....

Be there for the labor -  Except for circumstances beyond your control, you must attend. There may be hours and hours of labor and it may seem like not much is happening for awhile but suck it up! Stay for the whole thing, beginning to end. When she’s really in pain she may yell at you, throw things at you and tell you to get the H*LL out. This is not your permission to leave. If you were in this much pain, you’d be screaming too.  Remember, this part is not about you!  … Oh, and don’t pass out.

Slippery when Wet: Newborn Bath Safety and Skin Care

Bathing and caring for a newborns skin can be intimidating for new parents. A daily bath is not necessary for the first year; experts recommend 3x week so as not to dry out their delicate skin. When it’s not a bath day, it’s fine to wipe the baby’s face and body with a soft damp washcloth.  Plain water is optimal but if you use a product, stick with ones made especially for babies with no dyes or perfumes and one that’s PH balanced, rinsing thoroughly when done.

Get your bathing area ready and all your items needed handy. Make sure there are no electric appliances anywhere near the tub.  Use only 2 to 4 inches of water and never leave an infant alone, even for a second.

It’s a good idea to immerse the baby completely in the water except for the neck and head to allow them to retain their heat during their bath.  Always support the baby the entire time during the bath and test the water on the inside of your wrists for temperature beforehand. It’s a good idea to set your water heater to 120 degrees or below to avoid scalding trouble.

Change diapers every 2 to 4 hours or when soiled and try to use plain water here too. If wipes are your only option, choose PH balanced hypo-allergenic wipes without lanolin or alcohol.

Babies also can get rashes and eczema and cradle cap. Use zinc-oxide for diaper rash as a barrier between the skin and acidic stool and urine. For the eczema, depending on the severity, a topical cream may do the trick. Cradle cap may be treated by brushing the scales with a soft-bristled brush while bathing and shampooing with a mild shampoo, then rinse. For any skin condition that persists, see your pediatrician.

Bath time is a special bonding time for you and your baby. Keep it fun and safe by following these important tips.

For information on these topics and more visit the American Academy of Pediatrics website at http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/bathing-skin-care/Pages/default.aspx  

Election 2012 - Wicked Cool Baby Style

Now that the election is over, we can go back to life without all the political ads. Whether you’re Republican or Democrat, the months leading up to Nov 6 are taxing on everyone (pun intended). Even though the littlest “constituents” don’t really know what’s going on and they won’t be able to vote for years, judging from their little faces, they were OVER it!


Incidentally, the practice of “baby kissing” is believed to have started back in the time of Andrew Jackson and has survived, even flourished, through elections as a time honored way to get out the vote and gain public (women’s especially) support trying to get out a positive image. Today, it’s almost a superstition although there’s no case as to whether it helps or hinders.

Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis act out this humorous version of the cliché in this scene from a recent movie “The Campaign”, http://youtu.be/QKbziodzimo

As for Obama and Romney, they were both reported as being fairly ill-at-ease while holding infants and likely to hand the child back like “a grenade with the pin pulled out”.

So how about you? Does kissing babies make the candidates any more appealing or charismatic to you?

Baby Sign Language

Many mom these days are using baby signs with their infants and successfully opening the lines of communication well before word skills are attained. Baby sign language allows children to use their hands to bridge the communication gap.

Most babies start to verbalize at around 4-6 months although at this point, it’s just babbling. The vocalizing will continue to progress as your baby’s “receptive” language builds where they can understand more of what you’re saying to them and will try to imitate sounds, around 8-12 months. Generally around 1 year is when you’ll hear their first words.

Studies reveal that babies can learn to sign starting at 8 months, with some starting as early as 5 months. In these studies, not only did it help babies learn to talk and jumpstart their intellectual development, a number of very important social-emotional benefits were also revealed:

1. reduces frustration

2. helps parents and teachers be more observant and responsive

3. builds trust between babies and their parents and caregivers

4. allows babies to share their worlds revealing just how smart babies really are

5. promotes positive emotional development

Some babies who start out signing actually learn speech faster. It’s a wonderfully bonding experience too.

So will you be trying this out? Check out the web for lots of information on the topic. Here are a few trusted sites to start you out:

Mayo Clinic website:  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-sign-language/AN02127


Signing baby basics dictionary:  http://www.signingbaby.com 

...And a delightful video of a 12 month old signing quite a vocabulary on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gSZfW4gVhI