At the Pool (or WTH?)

Now, I’m not the most prude person out there, but this weekend, as we’re lying out in the sun, at a public pool, I saw something I couldn’t believe. There were families enjoying the weekend, hanging by the pool, mom and dads, lots of kids and people in general.  What disturbed me was the child who looked to be 5 or 6 yrs old (girl) whose mom removed her bikini top and who spent the entire day walking around with no top on. I can see doing this with a toddler, say 2 yrs,  but certainly not a child as old as 5 or 6.

It’s not just about weirdos,  though they are out there. I feel there’s a need to teach your daughters that this is not acceptable once they are old enough to understand the concept.

This mom made sure there were towels for the child, she diligently put sunscreen on her and we even had our sunglasses…but somehow, no top was fine!?!  Do some people need help understanding appropriate? 

To add another dimension:  Does it matter if they were clearly German and may have different cultural ideas?

I clearly don’t agree with this but how do you feel about it?  Up to what age do you feel topless is OK with your daughters?

Baby Sign Language

Many mom these days are using baby signs with their infants and successfully opening the lines of communication well before word skills are attained. Baby sign language allows children to use their hands to bridge the communication gap.

Most babies start to verbalize at around 4-6 months although at this point, it’s just babbling. The vocalizing will continue to progress as your baby’s “receptive” language builds where they can understand more of what you’re saying to them and will try to imitate sounds, around 8-12 months. Generally around 1 year is when you’ll hear their first words.

Studies reveal that babies can learn to sign starting at 8 months, with some starting as early as 5 months. In these studies, not only did it help babies learn to talk and jumpstart their intellectual development, a number of very important social-emotional benefits were also revealed:

1. reduces frustration

2. helps parents and teachers be more observant and responsive

3. builds trust between babies and their parents and caregivers

4. allows babies to share their worlds revealing just how smart babies really are

5. promotes positive emotional development

Some babies who start out signing actually learn speech faster. It’s a wonderfully bonding experience too.

So will you be trying this out? Check out the web for lots of information on the topic. Here are a few trusted sites to start you out:

Mayo Clinic website:  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-sign-language/AN02127


Signing baby basics dictionary:  http://www.signingbaby.com 

...And a delightful video of a 12 month old signing quite a vocabulary on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gSZfW4gVhI

Coffee and Beer....for Toddlers?

So I mentioned last week seeing a parent on the Lifetime TV show “the Week the Women Went” giving their 3 year old coffee. The father said she loves it and drinks it all the time. I was appalled that a parent would give their toddler a cup of coffee.

Not only is caffeine a stimulant and addictive but it can have side effects like jitters, stomach problems, heart palpitations and irritability. Young children are still growing and developing and caffeine affects the receptors in the brain. Granted, so does chocolate (however, not as much) but there are plenty of things better for your child to drink rather than coffee and/or soda. Any pediatrician will tell you not to give a child coffee. Most coffee has quite a bit more caffeine than even regular soda. (check out caffeine levels in your favorite drink):  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/caffeine/AN01211/


Are we really back to “…but I don’t want to tell my child NO”? I checked out the topic online and found there are quite a few people who don’t think this is a bad thing. There are also some who think that a sip of their beer, wine or alcohol can’t hurt either. I completely disagree and think it’s ridiculous to even introduce these things into a child’s life. They’ll have plenty of time to find their own vices on their own when they become an adult, they don’t need a jump start. What purpose does this serve anyway? People ask, why shouldn’t you give your kids these things (and don’t see reason not to)? I think the question is, why should you? Give me a good reason TO give your kids adult drinks. Which side are you on?

Potty Parties: film at 11

What about these potty parties I keep hearing about? Do we really need to throw a party for a child who learns to control a bodily function? Potty parties are just another over-achieving mommy’s idea of an event that needs to be memorialized with a special party for their special child. Ridiculous!

People, as a parent you should celebrate this event with your child; hugs all around, maybe some candy and stickers, maybe even a cake, AT HOME, with the family. This is not and should not be a public event. We need to reel in this trend of having a party for EVERYTHING your child does and take a step back so they can have realistic expectations of life.

And now, as if the party thing isn’t enough, we have the I-really-must-post-this-for-the-world-to-see parents on social network/video sites! Yikes!

I realize this is a milestone in your child’s life but is it really public-video-YouTube-worthy? This has got to be worse than the party because at least the party is over at some point. I see this stuff and I am SOOO thankful that YouTube didn’t exist in my day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhdyh6hSdgs

I feel bad for these kids because these videos of them pooping will NEVER go away, ever. The parents think they’re adorable but I’m wondering if the children featured are gonna love the idea of it when they’re older and say….dating? Shouldn’t these types of videos, if the parents MUST tape them, stay in the family vault somewhere?

How are you celebrating the potty training milestone at your house? Keeping it in the family or “going public”?

Caution: Children at Play

Recently, I visited a friend who lives in a suburb very close to mine who has a neighbor that recently started putting out these “Children at Play” signs in front of their house.

Only, said neighbor doesn’t place them on the grass or curb as depicted in the picture. They put one on each side of their property, smack dab in the middle of the street where cars have to literally drive around them, to allow their children to play IN the street, creating what they think is a “play zone” for their kids. I don’t think I have to tell you what a bad idea this is…..or do I?

This neighbor apparently believes this sign will take care of any problems pertaining to their children playing in the street in front of their house, including reducing speeds and preventing accidents. On several occasions, going by this location, there were no parents in sight. “Children at Play” signs give parents and kids a false sense of security, as the sign is assumed to provide protection, when in fact, motorists pay little attention to them.

Manufacturer’s of these signs use parental fear as a selling point saying “Notifying drivers that there are children at play may reduce your child’s risk” These type of “advisory signs” have been proven neither to change driver behavior, nor do anything to improve the safety of children in a traffic setting. What’s more, these types of signs are not sanctioned by the State or Federal Traffic Administrations and in addition, placing them or any other signage blocking a city street is against City Ordinance Codes.

Look, children should not be allowed or encouraged to play in or near the street. Federal standards reject these signs because they openly suggest that playing in the street is acceptable. More importantly, parents should be teaching their children the dangers of playing in or near roadways and strongly discouraging them from doing so, not trying to block off streets areas for them to play in. I realize that some parents are going to err on the side of “It can’t hurt” to place the signs out there, but as I stand and watch 4 and 5 year olds riding trikes in circles between the two “safety” signs without paying any attention to the cars approaching, I think “This can’t end well” while silently hoping it does.

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The above mentioned neighbor is located in a city of Colorado…for the exact city code they are violating, you can view the City of Thornton, Colorado Code of Ordinances here: http://tinyurl.com/77q4hgh

(Article XII - Traffic & Vehicles, DIV 2 – Model Traffic Code, Sec. 38-523, G (113.5) #5)
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What do you think? Have you used these signs before? Tell us your opinion.

Top Ten Things you Give Up when you're a Parent

10. Free Time - Remember all those hours spent on your hobby?   What hobby?
9. Caring what other people think - Don't need stranger's opinion of whether your child should be wearing a hat or not or what you're feeding them!
8. Vanity - Still wear makeup to the store and gas station? Sweats anyone?
7. Being Less Careful - It was OK for you to ride in the back of Grandpa's pickup growing up but now your children wear helmets for everything!
6. Control over your own home - Where you leave things, safety proof everything, and those glass tables and artsy things are long gone.
5. Peace of Mind - No matter what, you will now worry about everything relating to your kids forever.
4. Sleeping In - Sleep Deprivation is the number one...ca...use...of.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
3. Disposable Income - There's always something you need to get or provide for your little ones!
2. Following a Schedule - No matter how hard you try, the only schedule that now matters is the one your child is on....
AND, the number one thing you give up when you're a parent is:

1. Bathroom Time Alone - Your personal Space in now their personal space.  It's futile to hide in there, they will find you!

Kids Say the Darndest Things - Embarrassing moments for Moms

Kids say the darndest things and often it's embarrassing and surprising, some more than others.  Funny story:  Back in a former life, when I was doing something else for a living, I had a client who had dropped by school to pick up her 5 yr old before coming to see me. Once in the office, as we were talking, she casually asked her daughter what she had learned in school that day to which the 5 yr old excitedly replied, "I learned the F word today!".

I thought this woman was going to have a coronary; she almost fell off the chair.  She was able to compose herself long enough to ask her daughter what, in fact, the F word was.  The 5 yr old half covered her mouth, and giggling replied, "Fart", hee hee hee! The relief that washed over this woman's face was comical....but only if it's not your kid...right?

Young children have little impulse control and have not cultivated empathy for other's feeling yet so things just fly out of their mouths. Babble child development suggests, if they're saying something about someone loudly it's best to get down on their level and tell them quietly "You are right." and tell them you'll talk about it when you leave. 

If they are cursing, don't place too much attention on the particular word and try and distract them to another topic until later when you can talk to them and tell them that is a word we don't use in our family. If they realize they're getting a reaction, they may just use it more often for attention. Just another challenging aspect of raising little darlings!