Crowd birthing – All aboard, next stop, BIRTH!

The idea that some women want to bring 5, 8, 10 people into the birthing room, along with a live-feed video camera(s), is absurd to me, however, this has been gaining enough popularity that the term was coined, Crowd Birthing.

It’s been suggested that this new popularity began with Kourtney Kardashian’s birth video where there were 8+ people coming and going out of the room (not including the hospital staff).  Nevertheless, this seems to be an (un)natural progression of the teens and twenty-something’s idea of sharing EVERYTHING on social media.  Nothing is sacred anymore.  We’ve seen the Womb-tubers sharing the pee-on-the-stick moment and the first sonogram viewing parties.  Now we’re up to, “Let’s share birth with 800 of my closest FaceBook friends!”  What’s next?  Anyone up for a close-up circumcision video?

Aside from the obvious (to me) oversharing and TMI of doing this, there are other factors to consider. Too many people in the small confines of a birthing room can hinder the nursing staff and doctors from doing their jobs, most especially if there is a medical emergency.  Many hospitals have a limit to the number of people they allow in the room.  There’s a reason for that, not the least of which is that they don’t need the circus atmosphere of multiple unnecessary people talking and milling about.

You know, It’s not like on TV, this is not a glamorous process. It’s messy and exhausting and wonderful but you may not want to invite anyone you wouldn’t want to puke or poop in front of. I mean do we really need a live feed of your placenta?  SMILE, your vagina’s on candid camera!

The Half Birthday Party Cra Cra Craze

Is this really where we are?  Is this really what we’ve come to?  Is this not the epitome of spoiled, over-indulged parenting?   I can’t wrap my mind around what we’re doing here…..is this really gonna be a “thing” from now on?   Yes.

Seems the latest cool thing to do is to celebrate half birthdays.  Now this trend has been around a while but its gaining momentum into the “widely accepted” arena.  Six months after your real birthday is your half birthday.  It’s another excuse to pamper and spoil your kids with the full blown party essentials and gifts so they have twice the days in the year when it’s all about them.  

Now we’re not just talking about those poor, deprived children whose birthdays are within weeks of Christmas (or any other big holiday) so that they get lost in the shuffle and feel their special day doesn’t get the pageantry it deserves.  We’re talking about everyone…everyone has a half birthday!

If you think hard enough you can come up with an excuse why they need this.  Even if they don’t have a December birthday.  Like, maybe, they have a summer birthday (terrible) and they don’t get to have cupcakes at school for their birthday like the other kids whose birthdays are during the school year. How horrible to have to have a summer birthday at the pool, in the sunshine….right?  Or maybe, they have a winter birthday and they like the pool idea, it’s just no fun being cold on your day.  Or maybe, little Johnny just didn’t get all the things he wanted on that last birthday.

 People, this is a made-up day!  You only have one birthday…. That’s why it’s called a “birth-day”. It is what it is.  Isn’t this just perpetuating the narcissistic attitude that kids seem to have in spades already?  They already have a “graduation” from every school grade from kindergarten through high school complete with all the parties and gifts. We already have potty training parties and first moon parties. 

They get trophies and ribbons for every athletic event they participate in, win, lose or draw. Now you can add to the “all about me” attitude of Easter, Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, beginning of school/end of school and Halloween with an extra birthday!  And don’t try to say that you will just switch to celebrate the half birthday only and not celebrate on the actual birthday….we know better than that; you’ll do both.  Because that’s why you’re doing it.  Ridiculous.  What’s next?  Quarterly birthdays?  A “coming out” party every time they lose a tooth??

Parents please… using the toilet or getting your period is not an achievement. It’s part of growing up, a rite of passage that everyone has to go through just like moving on to the next grade in school. Not everything in life is a trophy winning, cake eating, party hat wearing event.  If you treat everything like it is, your child’s actual note-worthy achievements pale by comparison and you raise kids that don’t understand why the world doesn’t celebrate everything they do when they grow up.

We don’t need this new generation to feel more entitled that they already do! It’s so over the top already.

I call BS!  Let’s get back to reality and teach kids to appreciate what they have and truly achieve. Not everybody can be the best….or the winner…or the birthday kid…. except when they are.

Public Breastfeeding....the debate goes on...

Ok, so here's what we know:  Everyone has an opinion on public breast feeding and there are many different ones.  Whether you are for it, against it, cover up, don't cover up, it would be nice to know the breast feeding law in your state.

There's a place you can go to find out what the current laws are and discuss and ask questions.  Visit:  http://breastfeedinglaw.com/

Incidentally, I read about a place down in San Antonio called Baby Café. They provide a non-clinical place and encourage Moms to come in feed their babies and talk about pregnancy and health issues. Way to go Texas! Read about it here:  http://www.woai.com/articles/woai-local-news-sponsored-by-five-119078/baby-cafe-will-promote-breast-feeding-12084695

At the Pool (or WTH?)

Now, I’m not the most prude person out there, but this weekend, as we’re lying out in the sun, at a public pool, I saw something I couldn’t believe. There were families enjoying the weekend, hanging by the pool, mom and dads, lots of kids and people in general.  What disturbed me was the child who looked to be 5 or 6 yrs old (girl) whose mom removed her bikini top and who spent the entire day walking around with no top on. I can see doing this with a toddler, say 2 yrs,  but certainly not a child as old as 5 or 6.

It’s not just about weirdos,  though they are out there. I feel there’s a need to teach your daughters that this is not acceptable once they are old enough to understand the concept.

This mom made sure there were towels for the child, she diligently put sunscreen on her and we even had our sunglasses…but somehow, no top was fine!?!  Do some people need help understanding appropriate? 

To add another dimension:  Does it matter if they were clearly German and may have different cultural ideas?

I clearly don’t agree with this but how do you feel about it?  Up to what age do you feel topless is OK with your daughters?

Top Ten Ways Daddy can Support Expecting Mommy

A little Top Ten List for the Expecting Daddy today-

#10.  Say, “I can’t wait” or “I’m so excited” – Even if you don’t feel it, say it anyway, pump up the enthusiasm, trust me on this.

#9.    Tell her she looks beautiful – There will be days she doesn’t feel it but it’s nice to hear.

#8.   Offer to rub her swollen feet – or her back, or whatever.  You have no idea how it feels to not be able to see your feet, much less reach them.

#7.    Ask what you can do for her – Pay attention to her needs, wants, and cravings.  Realize there’s little or no way she can control what is happening to her body and mind right now.

#6.    Step up and take some stuff off her hands – She got a lot to do to get ready and WAY less energy to do it with. Take on more of the household duties so she doesn’t have to choose between killing herself and living in squalor.

#5.   Agree with how she wants to decorate the baby’s room – Does the particular shade of blue matter to you anyway? And if she changes her mind and decides that Periwinkle would be better than Sky Blue, your response should be, “Of course sweetie, that’s no problem” and repaint with a smile.

#4.  Go to as many prenatal care appointments and birthing classes as you can – The response, “But honey, that’s my day to meet the boys at Hooters for lunch” is not the correct answer to hearing that her doctor’s appointment is scheduled for Wednesday noon.

#3.   Never say, “Ooooh”, “gross”, or wrinkle your nose at something related to the pregnancy - The doctors exam may seem weird and birthing movies she asks you to watch can be… uncomfortable… if you have to look away, do that, but please don’t say derogatory things, she may take it personally.

#2.   Plug in and generally participate – You got her pregnant, now you have to engage. Your job is not over, ever.

And the #1 way daddy can support expecting Mommy....

Be there for the labor -  Except for circumstances beyond your control, you must attend. There may be hours and hours of labor and it may seem like not much is happening for awhile but suck it up! Stay for the whole thing, beginning to end. When she’s really in pain she may yell at you, throw things at you and tell you to get the H*LL out. This is not your permission to leave. If you were in this much pain, you’d be screaming too.  Remember, this part is not about you!  … Oh, and don’t pass out.

Mommy-Jacking and Parental Oversharing

Have you heard these terms? Here are the “definitions”…


Mommy-Jacking: The art of “hi-jacking” someone else’s unrelated FB status or comment post to make it all about your child or needing to have a child.

Or

Parental Oversharing: The misguided idea that somehow, everyone following you on social media wants to know and hear about your child’s poop, snot (and other bodily fluids), or your toddler’s boners.

Of course, there all types of Mommy-Jackers: We have the Classic Mommy-Jacker; she really believes that your day/post will be better when she interjects her news. The Self-Centered Mommy-Jacker; she finds a way to work info about her kids into just about any conversation. The Self-Righteous Mommy-Jacker; she will let you know that no matter what’s happening in your life, she has faced worse, done more, or already tried that and knows what you need to do. There are even Mommy-Jackers that try to hi-jack other Mommy-Jackers with “One-up-manship” ala the You-think-you’re-tired-listen-to-this type posts.

Parents DO get a bad wrap for doing this, especially when you consider that other people overshare about other aspects of their lives too….like your friend that tells you every time they’re off to the grocery store or specific details about their exercise workout. Have a little patience.

As parents, of course you’re proud of your child’s first solid poop or their extreme cuteness when they scream and you think you might be more challenged and tired than anyone EVER, but before you hit SEND, just ask yourself, “Is this information really necessary or am I just Mommy-Jacking this person’s status?”

When reading these, most people just think, “Eww, TMI!” ….and then there are the ones who think, “How can your children be the center of the universe when clearly mine are?”

Have you been guilty of over-sharing in the past? What's the funniest thing someone has shared about their kids on your FB page?

It's a Bumpy....Road?

Sometimes, the best intended baby bump keepsake photos seem like a good idea at the time but not so much later. (I have no idea what the tire is for!)

We’ve seen some awkward belly photos in our time, BUT, last week, Vanessa Lachey posted one of the most beautiful baby bump photos I have ever seen….

Vanessa and husband, Nick Lachey are expecting a baby boy in late summer, early fall, September-ish. The couple said on Vanessa’s website, “We can’t wait to meet him soon!”

Nick took this gorgeous picture and Vanessa urged followers on Twitter to “Show me ur bump and I’ll show u mine!” Absolutely stunning!

Public diaper changes – That table’s for glasses, not asses!

First, we argue about the mother’s right to breastfeed in public and now, the right to change a diaper anywhere we wish, including a restaurant tabletop? Really?!

There have been numerous news stories about moms being asked to leave restaurants and even one where cops were called to an eatery in New Jersey because a woman decided to change her baby at the table stating there was no changing table in the restroom.

While most people realize, and common sense should tell you, that changing a diaper in a restaurant seating area is beyond disgusting, there are still some who don’t care what most people think. Some people won’t even use the changing table offered in a public bathroom saying it’s dirty. There are people who won’t lay their child on a changing pad on the floor of the bathroom saying it’s filthy, but have no problem contaminating your eating surfaces.

The sense of entitlement is dumbfounding! Talk about unsanitary and offensive. People have to EAT there!

Changing a diaper in a public area of any sort, most especially in a restaurant dining area, whether on the table or in the seats, is unacceptable! This is why we have federal health regulations in public establishments. You have blankets and changing pads, use them, in the bathroom or on the tailgate or seat of your car, in the stroller….they wash. What happened to common courtesy for other people? I know it’s difficult sometimes to find a convenient, clean place to change a diaper but you cannot contaminate public areas and put others at a health risk. There is always an alternative to having to change a diaper at a table.

Lysol®, Purell®, gas mask…anyone?